I don't understand...

(I will get back to the "most controversial" topic in a bit - it's going to take me awhile to write).

I have recently been told stories by a good friend, my sister and my mother. They all involved slightly varying stories of tearing so badly in childbirth they required an hour +/- of stitching after.

This makes me really angry. At the OB's/doctors. There are ways to prevent much of the serious tearing that happens in childbirth. It takes a little effort and care by the birth attendant.

Don't OB's care??? Why don't they do anything to prevent this awful tearing (and no - prevention does not = episiotomy either!) Is it money? They can charge more for the careful stitching they do afterwards?

My heart breaks for these poor mama's. And it's just SO common (no surprise since 99% of births take place in hospitals and apparently very few doctor's care to do anything to prevent the tearing).

It's NOT a part of normal birth. Minor tearing, sure. It happens. Major tearing requiring an hour of repair? No. Not normal. At least it shouldn't be.

Tearing has nothing to do with (or very little to do with) the size of the baby. I have heard of mama's tearing from birthing their small 5lb. babies and I have heard of women birthing 12 lb. babies with NO tearing. (No joke!).

Midwives have (comparatively) VERY low rates of tearing. Many mama's don't tear at all, others require only a stitch or two. While I'm not a midwife and don't know all of the tricks of the trade, I will list some things I do know that help prevent tearing, in case any mama's want to try to help themselves if their doctor's refuse (or don't know how) to help them.

1 - If possible, labor in water for some time. This softens all of the tissues. This is probably mostly helpful during the end of labor. (Besides the fact that it provides much pain relief from contractions as well!)

2 - If at all possible, do not push lying flat on your back. This is the worst position for labor and delivery. (Yet the status quo in hospitals. Why? Easier access for your doc. Not for your good. Your doctor's). This position does not utilize gravity as well as puts additional unnecessary pressure on the perineum.

(Side note - I did end up delivering my daughter semi reclined on my back - after trying many positions, this is where I my pushing was most effective. I did have a small tear requiring 2 stitches. I will be trying other positions again this time, however, things don't always go as planned and I know that :)

3 - Probably one of the best things you can do: When you are about to deliver baby, you, your spouse, doctor, midwife, birth attendant, whoever can use an oil (arnica is a great choice, although any nutritive oil would do) to further soften your tissues, as well as gently supporting the tissues as the head emerges by applying pressure and gently easing the skin around baby's head.

Also, perineal massage/stretching during the last few weeks of pregnancy may also help prevent tearing. One of the greatest things about this practice, besides perhaps making the tissue more 'stretchy', is practicing how to relax when feeling an uncomfortable sensation (the massage/stretching does not feel good!). The more you are able to relax down there as the baby is being born, the easier, faster and less tearing there will be. If you are able to have your partner help it works best. Breathe deeply and close your eyes. Relax your jaw. Think of happy images or places and relax. Really good practice for birth.

4 - As your baby is being born, try to really control and slow your pushing. The slower baby comes, the less amount of tearing as the tissues have a chance to stretch and accommodate. Some women will pant during this stage to keep themselves from pushing too hard. Some will give a series of short pushes instead of one big push. *Hopefully* you have a birth attendant that can coach you through this part. If the tissues are looking white - slow down (if you can!). Your birth attendant can also put gentle pressure on the babies head to prevent baby from coming out to quickly.

Ok - as I said... not a trained midwife here... so this is all I can think of at the moment. I will add more to the comments if I think of more - or if anyone else has ideas or techniques - please add them to the comments as well!

Talk to whoever is attending your birth about techniques to avoid tearing. Ask about the possibility of pushing NOT on your back. Fight for what you feel you need and want. Be your own birth advocate! (or find a good midwife! no really!) ;)

blessings in birth,

S

"Which hospital are you delivering at?"

I was asked this question at our big family Christmas dinner last night. I suppose for 99% of the population this is a totally normal and expected question.

I've been asked this several times during each pregnancy. And it still catches me off guard. I've never even considered having a baby in a hospital. It's weird because in my own private little world, in my mind, birth is normal and natural. Not a medical event. The hospital is for illness and injury - not a place to have babies! My internal thoughts go something like this...

"Hospital? I'm not sick, I'm having a baby! Childbirth is normal and there is no need for a hospital. Why would I go there? I don't like hospitals. I don't want to be in a hospital bed with people I don't know wandering in and out, with needles and tubes and beeping monitors. There are germs (bad ones like MRSA) and sick people in hospitals. Ew. I want to be in my comfy home with people that I know and love. I don't want people I hardly know poking, prodding, bathing and touching my newborn, or telling me what I need to do or can't do with him. I want to snuggle in bed with him... not put him in a car and drive him there. And.... I'm having a baby. I'm not sick."

Now, I know I'm one of a very small number that thinks this way. I'm one of a very small number that chooses homebirth because I believe it's what is best for my babies as well as myself. I know hospital births are normal and expected.

So what I say out loud is usually something along the lines of..

"Oh we homebirth with a midwife. I know... we're kind of crazy..." (Not that I believe we are crazy - but I know to a majority of the population we appear that way. It kind of diffuses the conversation at that point and most people move on... unless they are truly interested, which in that case I'm happy to talk about it :)

So thankful to have the option of homebirth.

blessings,

s

Our First (Home)birth Story (Copy)

Thank you to my midwives for keeping such detailed notes to fill in the details where my memory could not! And thank you to my friend Megan for taking pictures for us. Here is my birth story.

I first realized I was in labor at 12:45am on Monday, April 13, 2009. My contractions were not very painful, but enough that I couldn't fall back to sleep. I started timing them and they were about 5 minutes apart. At about 1:30am and more of the same and not knowing what to do with myself, I decided to wake up hubby. I was so excited! I knew this was the day I would finally be able to hold my little girl in my arms. The day we had been waiting for!

Ready and waiting for baby's arrival!

We got up and timed contractions with contractionmaster.com (awesome website!) while playing Rockband on the Wii. Contractions were still uncomfortable but obviously not that painful! We timed for about 2 hours, the contractions varied between 2 and 4 minutes apart. A couple of times I laid down, but the contractions slowed quite a bit when I did that so I decided to keep things moving along by staying up and moving around. We were still so excited as it sunk in that our baby girl was coming to meet us!

At about 3:40am hubby decided it was time to call our midwife and our friend, Megan, that was going to attend the birth. Megan arrived around 4:30am. Our midwife and her apprentice were on their way and arrived around maybe 5:30am (I don't clearly remember times, just a general idea).

The contractions stayed about the same although they had gotten more powerful and I had to stop and breathe through them. My midwife checked me at 6am and I was at 4-5cm and 90% effaced, +2 station. Even though I was pretty tired at this point I decided to just keep moving around and progressing the labor since I would not get any real rest until it was over anyway.

At 7am hubby took a nap and I was checked again and was around 6cm, 100% effaced. At this point I was able to reach in and feel the top of her head.... so crazy! Still just breathing my way through contractions. My midwives and hubby and friend helped here and there with counter pressure on my back which felt really good. The contractions were getting more uncomfortable and I was starting to feel pretty tired having only slept an hour and a half the night before.

At 8:10am I decided to get in the birthing tub. At 8:23am my midwife checked me and I was 9cm and very stretchy! Almost there! I sat in the tub in many different positions to help the pain (right side, left side, hands and knees, draped over the tub). At 9:40am they bailed out the water in the tub and filled it back up with hot water. At 9:54am the contractions became very painful. I had a lot of pain in my hips.

At 10:41am I started pushing in a squat position in the tub. Pushing was REALLY hard because I felt soooo tired at this point. I felt like I was completely out of energy. My midwife gave me some oxygen to help with my energy level. In between pushing I was dozing and falling asleep.

At 11:00am we moved to the bed trying to find a good position to push. After a push or two on the bed there was a BOOM! (really big pop) my water EXPLODED. It was really loud and exciting and sprayed everyone close to me. It was so loud it actually startled hubby!

At 11:48am we moved to the birthing stool and pushed there until 11:55am we moved to the floor. At 12:19pm on my bedroom floor I delivered my beautiful baby girl!

Placing baby on my belly!

Daddy gazing at his baby girl, waiting for the placenta to be delivered.

I was so in my zone during the pushing I can't remember a lot of things. My midwives and friend and husband were all wonderful. I felt like I wasn't going to be able to do it since I was so tired and I felt like I was not making progress with my pushes, which really scared me. But I was making progress and in the end I just kept telling myself (out loud) that I could do it. It kept me from giving up. The whole time they monitored baby's heartbeat and it NEVER wavered, not during contractions, rest, not during pushing or after. She was strong the whole way through which gave me a lot of confidence that everything was ok.

Baby gazing at her daddy for the first time.

I was bleeding quite a bit, so my midwife gave me a shot of pitocin in my thigh, did acupuncture, massaged my uterus, and gave me a placenta smoothie (small piece of placenta with lots of fruit!). I laid on my bed during all of this with my baby girl nursing while I rested. I slept for about an hour (with my baby nursing the whole time) since I was so exhausted from childbirth and no sleep. Hubby slept too!

At 2:25pm, after the cord had stopped pulsating, the midwives clamped and daddy cut the cord.

After examining me my midwife gave me two stitches for a minor tear. They tried to get me up to go to the bathroom before they left a few hours later and I almost passed out, so I decided to stay in bed. I said I wasn't going to get out of bed again until the next day, but I actually made it to the bathroom and back (with hubby's assistance of course) later that night (almost passed out on the way back - but I thought that was pretty good!)

Mama and baby.

In the middle of our bed at 3:25pm, the assisting midwife performed the newborn exam. Everything was perfect! At 4:30pm, midwives had everything cleaned up and packed up, we had all eaten together and they left us to enjoy our new family.

I'm thrilled that I was able to experience (unmedicated) childbirth, it was and is a truly incredible experience. I'm so proud of what I have accomplished. The pain was bearable and really not what I remember most. I absolutely plan to have more babies (at home)! I'm so happy as a first time mom to have had such a good experience and I was SO happy that my home birth stayed at home. And most of all of course I'm happy to have a healthy happy baby.

Everyone relaxing in bed together.

Baby girl born 12:19pm April 13

8lbs 21 inches long and BEAUTIFUL!

1 day old