Pregnant or hope to be someday?

If you are pregnant now or hope to be someday, no matter what kind of birth you want or plan to have, I really strongly recommend picking up a copy and reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Even after doing tons of research with my first, and actually experiencing childbirth, I'm still learning SO MUCH! It is really wonderfully written, easy to read and engaging.

I think it's so important for every woman to read this book. I found it at my library.

Midwife and author Ina May Gaskin is truly an expert in pregnancy and childbirth. The insight she has to offer is so invaluable. If you only read one book during your pregnancy, choose this one!

Birth and the Two Models of Care

Whether you choose an OB or a midwife to provide your pregnancy, birth and postpartum care, there is something that will influence the outcome of your experience more than anything. This is whether your provider practices under the medical model of care or the midwifery model of care.

It seems like it would be pretty cut and dry - OB's practice the medical and Midwives practice the midwifery. Right?

While the vast majority of the time this might be true, there are still plenty of exceptions.

The two models of care by definition:

The Midwives Model of Care

The Midwives Model of Care is based on the fact that pregnancy and birth are normal life processes.

The Midwives Model of Care includes:

• Monitoring the physical, psychological, and social well-being of the mother throughout the childbearing cycle
• Providing the mother with individualized education, counseling, and prenatal care, continuous hands-on assistance during labor and delivery, and postpartum support
• Minimizing technological interventions
• Identifying and referring women who require obstetrical attention

The application of this woman-centered model of care has been proven to reduce the incidence of birth injury, trauma, and cesarean section.

Copyright (c) 1996-2008, Midwifery Task Force, Inc., All Rights Reserved.

http://cfmidwifery.org/mmoc/define.aspx

I couldn't find a definition of the medical model of care, but I found this table making some comparisons of the two models:

Midwives Model of Care Medical Model of Care Definition: Definition: • Birth is a social event, a normal part of a woman's life. • Birth is the work of the woman and her family. • The woman is a person experiencing a life-transforming event. • Childbirth is a potentially pathological process. • Birth is the work of doctors, nurses, midwives and other experts. • The woman is a patient. Definition: Definition: • Home or other familiar surroundings. • Informal system of care. • Hospital, unfamiliar territory to the woman • Bueaucratic, hierarchical system of care Definition: Definition: • See birth as a holistic process • Shared decision-making between caregivers and birthing woman • No class distinction between birthing women and caregivers • Equal relationship • Information shared with an attitude of personal caring. • Longer, more in-depth prenatal visits • Often strong emotional support • Familiar language and imagery used • Awareness of spiritual significance of birth • Believes in integrity of birth, uses technology if appropriate and proven • Trained to focus on the medical aspects of birth • "Professional" care that is authoritarian • Often a class distinction between obstetrician and patients • Dominant-subordinate relationship • Information about health, disease and degree of risk not shared with the patient adequately. • Brief, depersonalized care • Little emotional support • Use of medical language • Spiritual aspects of birth are ignored or treated as embarrassing • Values technology, often without proof that it improves birth outcome

http://www.morningstarbirth.com/index.cfm?event=pageview&contentPieceID=3225

M(idwives in) D(isguise)

Some OB's, even while working in the hospital, do work under the assumptions of the midwifery model of care. One indicator would be their percentages of interventions (induction, c-section, vacuum, forceps, episiotomies, etc). Low percentages of interventions would indicate they may work under the midwifery philosophy, using interventions only when REALLY necessary.

MEDwives

In contrast, some midwives who work in hospitals work under the medical model of care. They usually work closely with an OB. Their purpose is more as an attraction to women who want a midwife but still opt for a hospital birth. The care is similar to that of an OB.

The "title" your caregiver possesses does not necessarily dictate the kind of care you will get or the kind of birth you will have. It is important to find a caregiver whose birth philosophy matches your own if at all possible. Yes, we all want healthy babies in the end. But our experiences in childbirth, our hopes and desires, matter as well.

-S

Mothering from Within

I didn't have a lot of ideas about motherhood before I became a mother. Sure there were things I thought I would and would not do. But I couldn't have written a book about it. It was just a general sense of what I thought it might look like.

The picture in my head ended up being actually quite different than how things have played out so far. I've done so many things that never even crossed my mind or knew about before becoming a mother.

I did do tons of research regarding pretty much every decision I made. But all in all, I made decisions from my heart. I did things the way that just felt right to me. It hasn't always been easy, and many of my decisions are definitely off of the beaten path, which has made me feel like a bit of a loner at times. But all in all I had peace in my heart that I was doing the right things for my daughter and my family.

This is why I have called this blog "Mother from Within". I feel like mothering has come from within me, like it was there all along - I just didn't know it. While trying at times, it really has come so naturally.

I also choose to blog about the things I do because I feel that many of the things might not be the "mainstream" way of doing things, they are less common and in some circles completely unknown. I had to do a lot of research from many different sources. I wanted to compile the things I have learned - to write about all of the research I have done so maybe another mom can benefit from it. Some mom's may be interested and not know it yet, or may not have the resources or time to do it on their own.

I have gotten many questions and emails about breastfeeding, midwives, cloth diapering, etc. I LOVE answering questions with whatever wisdom I might have to share. I hope this blog sparks some interest in different subjects and topics, and more than anything spurs people to do their own research and form their opinions after considering all sides of things, even the lesser known.

Thanks for reading! I can get pretty passionate at times, so if you disagree with something I may write, I hope you can still see my heart.

xoxo,

stephanie

Cloth Diapers and Diaper Rash (Copy)

This is a topic we have thankfully not had to deal with with our little precious girl. She hasn't had any diaper rash at all in her cloth diapers. Many people think that baby's in cloth get more rashes since the wet stays against their skin and isn't pulled away and turned into gel. However, it is not the wetness that inherently causes the rash. It can be several different factors but I would say it is usually a combination of the chemicals used in disposables paired with the lack of breath-ability (plastic) and THEN the wetness. Cloth are more breathable and do not contain the chemicals and therefore less rash!

However, rashes, of course, CAN occur with cloth diapers. Some babies just have super sensitive skin. Sometimes detergent build-up in the diapers can cause a rash. Sometimes even the more breathable fabrics aren't breathable enough for some babies. Whatever the reason, some parents might find themselves needing to either change their routine, or use diaper cream.

Not all diaper creams are created equal in the world of cloth diapering. Some will leave a residue on the diapers and cause them to repel liquid. So you want to use a cloth friendly diaper cream. This is a great resource that rates all of the creams and their degree of cloth friendliness. It also tells you how to strip your diapers if you use a "non-cloth-friendly" type.

Other options are

1. Try stripping your diapers to make sure a detergent build up isn't causing the rash.
2. Let baby's bum air out a bit, or try fleece or wool covers for overnights especially, or for a few days and see if getting more air helps. Fleece and wool absorb a lot of their weight in liquid, so while they aren't completely water proof, they are great for around the house. (They really do hold an amazing amount of moisture!)
3. Lay a piece of fleece in your diaper to keep the diaper cream off the diaper. Throw it in the wash with the rest of the diapers and wash as usual.

Happy diapering!

Evil (hormonal) birth control... (Copy)

This is a blog I've been meaning to write for several years now. The content is hard for me, humbling to share, but too important to keep to myself. I intend it to be a sort of PSA per say, as I had to learn things the hard way. I hope that maybe just maybe someone might not need to.

At the ripe age of 25, after suffering from years of horrible cramps (the kind that I could only put a dent in with a couple of strong pain killers), I decided to ask a doctor for birth control pills. I had heard that this really helped with cramps and also delayed or helped endometriosis, a condition my mother suffered from until her hysterectomy and I feared I would suffer from as well.

The doctor handed me a prescription without question or explanation. Of course, I was 25, not a child by any means. I took the pills and my cramps were SO MUCH BETTER! I was thrilled. I didn't give the pills another thought as I continued to take them for the next three years.

The following three years of my life were.... absolute hell for me. I became emotional, angry, depressed, anxious and just completely unhappy.

I was out of control. The anxiety and anxiety attacks were the worst. It stopped me from living my life almost completely. I quit jobs. I didn't work for a lot of that time. I had trouble just carrying on with day to day life.I felt frozen at the thought of doing anything. I was depressed and lashed out at my husband. Any little thing could and would be completely earth shattering to me and would send me in a tailspin. I was even bordering suicidal at times.

The lowest moment for me was one day I left work during my lunch hour. I got into an argument with my husband on the phone, had an anxiety attack and drove myself off the road in hysterics. I popped 2 or 3 of my tires and drove on the rims onto a side road. That's the day I quit my job (a job that I had had for only 2 months at that point). That was also the day that I decided I couldn't live like that anymore. It was just pure torture for me and anyone close to me, mostly my husband, but also my parents. My mom did research and found my symptoms in line with PMDD and PTSD. No matter what it was, I had to get help.

I finally began suspecting the birth control and talked to my OB/GYN at my annual check up. I told her about my depression and anxiety when she asked me about my birth control. She told me it *wasn't* the birth control and that was that. She asked me no other questions, offered no help or insight. But at the end of the appointment, she did tell me to see "my doctor". (Didn't really have a doctor I regularly saw, besides her for my annual check up... I just saw whoever when something came up, which was very rare).

I was upset that she brushed me off after telling her about my problem. I was broken and she didn't even care. But I went to see a nurse practitioner and after filling out a few surveys I was prescribed prozac. After a few weeks I definitely saw an improvement. I began feeling like myself again. Not artificially happy, just like myself. Well, mostly.

I took the prozac for about 8 months with success. About 6 months in I stopped taking birth control because we decided we wanted to have a baby. Once I found out I was pregnant I weaned myself off of the prozac. I had a great time being pregnant (a few normal hormonal emotional days as to be expected!) and suffered no postpartum depression or anxiety. I have been off of the birth control and prozac for almost two years and I have never been happier, my marriage is stronger and better than ever. I adore being a mom and I enjoy every moment.. even those sleepless nights with my baby.

I hate that those three years are a part of my past. It was horrible. But I am so happy now and have a greater understanding of the way my body works, what anxiety and depression feel like and do to you, a greater understanding of hormonal birth control (which I will NEVER EVER EVER TAKE AGAIN! for obvious reasons, but also another reason you will find below.. keep reading!). I wish my doctor had told me to be on the look out for these symptoms so I could have gotten off of it and saved my family and me so much heartache. But she didn't and I didn't and it happened. So I would rather share my story and maybe I can save someone else that pain.

Another thing I learned recently is actually HOW hormonal birth control works. It is an abortifacient as well as a contraceptive, which is why it is so effective. Had I known this, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER have taken the pill in the first place! I'm very pro-life and the thought of this makes me so sick. But again, no one ever told me. If you do some research you will find that the pill works 4 ways:

1. Stops ovulation (however this doesn't always happen)
2. Changes your cervical mucus to hinder sperm from fertilizing an egg
3. Changes the movement of the fallopian tubes to hinder fertilization
4. CREATES A LINING OF THE UTERUS WHICH IS INSUFFICIENT FOR IMPLANTATION IN CASE AN EGG BECOMES FERTILIZED - this is the abortifacient element.

http://www.pfli.org/faq_oc.html

Taking artificial hormones was one of THE absolute worst decisions of my life. There are more ways, natural and herbal, to help with cramps and to aid in a healthy uterus. Thankfully, with the lactation hormones, I have not had to deal with cramps yet! One of the many perks of breastfeeding. :) And barrier method or family planning are (in my opinion) better methods of birth control.

I will end with one of my favorite quotes summarizing my journey and new knowledge of hormonal birth control.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
- Maya Angelou

Cloth Diapering ... UPDATE! (Copy)

Several months ago I wrote a detailed blog on MODERN cloth diapering. Over the months I have been asked many questions by several interested momma's (or soon to be momma's). I always welcome any and all questions and find a lot of joy in talking about and sharing cloth diapering. It really is fun (I know, so hard to understand until you try it!)

Anyway, I thought I would give you and update about our adventures in cloth.

The last blog I wrote about cloth was before baby girl started eating solid foods. Since she was a 100% breastfed baby, and breastfed baby poo is water soluble, I just dumped all her diapers right into the washer and that was that. After waiting six months to feed her table foods (and boy we were really holding out at that point, she wanted it SO BAD!), we would no longer be able to just dump all of her diapers into the washer.

This is where things CAN get messy. The way of the past, and the way several mom's still do things, the way I did things for about 2 weeks after we introduced solids was to dunk and swish. In the toilet. Ew. Can't say that was very pleasant. However, there is now a better way!

We were blessed by my sister in law who sent us a diaper sprayer. It's a really simple invention that hooks up to your toilet and has a kitchen sink type sprayer and it just sprays everything off the diaper into the toilet and flush!

They run around $30-40 on average (worth every penny and more I tell you!) but you can google the instructions on making one yourself with just a few dollars of supplies from Home Depot. This looks like a great tutorial with pictures and everything. Much love for the diaper sprayer!

Another thing to consider when cloth diapering is detergent. Not all detergents work well with cloth diapers. Although many people swear by Tide, you can also buy special diaper detergents. We used just a costco brand detergent for several months in the beginning. It worked alright. Every so often it would build up in the diapers (we also have very hard water where we live) so we would get the "stinkies" and have to strip the diapers. (Stinkies in cloth diapers are usually caused by detergent build up in the diapers).

Anyway... we started using Rockin' Green Cloth Diaper and Laundry Detergent. This detergent is AWESOME. It comes in many delicious scents (monkey snacks, grape soda, cherry almond, etc). The scent only stays during the wash, then washes away so as to not irritate sensitive baby skin. YUM! The stinkies have gone away, though we do use some oxyclean in the wash to help. Everyone has a different method for washing diapers, but I'll include mine just for reference. It's all trial and error!

1 Cold wash no detergent
1 Hot wash with 3 TBSP of Rockin Green, 2 TBSP Oxyclean

That's it! With rockin green you don't even need an extra rinse at the end like a lot of detergents require.

Happy diapering!

Why don't people hold their babies? (Copy)

I have to be honest. I am absolutely, 100% in love with holding my little girl. I have been since the first time I held her in my arms. I love holding her, kissing the top of her head, gazing into her eyes. We communicate so much with our eyes. I love babywearing and my homemade moby wrap saved my back when baby was only a couple of months old and not only never wanted to be put down, but wanted to be held only while standing! I love going about my day, getting the cleaning and cooking done with my little girl along for the ride. I love how quickly she falls asleep in her carriers - it let's me know how safe and comfortable she is.

The benefits to babywearing are many! Check out some of them here.

Babies who are worn tend to:

• cry less
• learn more
• more organized
• "humanized" earlier
• smarter!

Ten Reasons to Wear Your Baby

Daddy wearing baby and doing dishes! BEST HUSBAND EVER!!!!

There are many different types of carriers. Our new favorite is a soft-structured carrier, the Patapum. This easily buckles on and baby can be worn on the front or on your back. It has padded straps and distributes the weight on the shoulders and hips. It's so comfortable and Amalie loves it! This was one of the most affordable SSC's I have found. I purchased ours new for around $60.

For a breakdown and information on all the different types of carriers check out this link.

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE!!!! It talks about plagiocephaly, the development of a baby's spine, the benefits of babywearing and so much more. It mentions how forward facing your baby is not a good idea while babywearing, and how the Bjorn (and other "crotch danglers") can cause harm to the baby's hips and spine development (you never want a carrier that positions baby's knees below the butt).

The Bjorn (also the Snugli) is a popular carrier but besides being not great for baby, it also isn't great for the wearer. It puts all the weight on the shoulders and can only be comfortably used while baby is quite small (less than 15 lbs).

After the first few months of baby's life, I was a little worried that all the carrying would slow down her physical progress. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. She was rolling over by 3 months, crawling at 5 months, standing at 7 months and now at 9 months she is standing unassisted and climbing up AND down the stairs!

She is quite the independent little busy bee.

So leave the bucket (carseat) in the car (where it belongs), leave that bulky stroller in the trunk and enjoy the benefits of wearing your baby!

For more about babywearing and attachment parenting see this site.